untitled thoughts

I’m fed up with the stars you’re wishing on,

I’m tearing off the band-aids you’re keeping on,

You’re covering scars, honey,

They’re not bleeding anymore, lovely,

I was clingy because I cared,

Clinging to you because I’m scared,

Terrified of your lies,

My paranoia was a spy,

Crying on the bathroom floor while you’re asleep in the bed,

Smoking cigarettes, letting the nicotine go to my head,

Smoking weed to fall asleep,

Smoking pot to be okay,

Using drugs to kill my pain,

It’s my manic depression

My self defense mechanism,

It’s my generalized anxiety, social anxiety,

Stop looking at me,

My compulsively lies,

My memories I can’t speak of,

The reasons you couldn’t save me,

I wanted to die,

Drank my vodka all the time,

Popping pills until I cried,

Ending up in the ER,

IV in my arm,

I’m sorry I wasn’t okay,

I trusted you not to leave,

You gave up on me,

I trusted you with my past,

You added more tragedy,

At least you’ve got a story now,

Dreaming of your future now,

Who, what, where, when,

Why?

How?

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